today we have today

Definitely understand Jay Reatard’s sentiments, as quoted in the NYT article printed after his death last week.:

Everything I do is motivated by the fear of running out of time.

I wouldn’t say *everything* I do is motivated by this feeling that life’s too short and time passes too fast. But there’s just so much I want to do and see and feel and read and hear and…you know. This guy churned out albums and songs so fast it made critics’ heads spin…but he was “just trying to get the idea out before the inspiration is gone”. And because I understand the way he felt, I can’t help but feel inspired, or at least encouraged, to get my creative ideas out onto paper instead of sitting around being overwhelmed by them, before their inspiration or their time expires.  I can choose to not be paralyzed by this fear of running out of time, as I often am now.

Today we have today. Fumbling towards some sort of balance in my days; a balance allowing for normalcy, for constant appreciation, for wonder and spontaneity, for a steady pace, and for space to do what Jeff Tweedy (Wilco!) realized was essential as an artist:

“…I worked harder at laying the groundwork to generate inspiration. The work is putting yourself in that position more often. Creating the environment is the work. Picking up the guitar, picking up the pen, making yourself do that every day and resigning yourself to the idea that it won’t happen every day, but realizing that it’s more likely to happen if you have the pen in your hand than if you don’t.

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